2015年1月29日星期四

Twist story revision

                                 Who are you?


“Oh, Nooooooo! please don’t, don’t catch me! Help me!!!!!!! ” I wake up at midnight because of a bad dream. 
“Where am I?” oh, I am siting on my chair, and there is my French book right in-front of me.
 “Oh, god, what time is it? I must have nodded off at my desk.” 
I turn out my lamp, and try to go to bed. 
The room is dark and cheerless. I feel a deadly coldness steal over me. 
 Wait….. I feel something behind me, What’s that? There is a fearsome girl sitting in a rocking-chair by the window. She looks pale and unhealthy, with unwashed hair and sunken cheeks. My heart is like a jumping rabbit, and I can heard it quite clearly. Then something seems to snap in me.I feel like I can hardly move my muscle; I begin to perspire heavily, and my brain goes blank. All of a sudden, Her face is colorless, and she starts to float, I image that she wants to catch me and eat me. I starts to run, as fast as I can. My feeling is like I am a champion of the olympic games. The monster is about to stretch out her hand to grab me, but she misses. “AAAAAA, no……..mom, mom,  help me, help me, someone is sitting on the chair and wants to kill me!” I screamed loudly and dripped to my bed. I snuggle tightly under my quilt in order to feel protected and block out the world around me.

“ What’s wrong, Jen?Are you ok?” my mom says. She turns on the light, “ There is no one sitting on your chair, just your red dress and shoes.By the way, please close your window when you sleep. It's super cold outside.”

2015年1月25日星期日

Creative story


“Oh, Nooooooo! please don’t, don’t catch me! Help me!!!!!!! ” I wake up in a midnight because of a bad dream. 
“Where am I?” oh, I am siting on my chair, and there is my French book right in-front of me.
 “Oh, god, what time is it? I must have nodded off over my desk.” 
I turn out my lamp, and try to go for sleep. 
The room is dark and cheerless. I feel a deadly coldness stole over me. 
 Wait….. I feel something behind me, What’s that? There is a fearsome girl sitting in a rocking-chair by the window. She looks pale and unhealthy, with unwashed hair and sunken cheeks. My heart is like a jumping rabbit, and I can heard it quite clearly. Then something seemed to snap in me.I feel like I can hardly move my muscle; I begin to perspire heavily, and my brain become blank. All of a sudden, Her face is colorless, and she starts to shaking body, I perceive that she wants to catch me and eat me. I starts to run , as fast as I can. My feeling is like I am a champion of the olympic games. The monster is about to stretch out her hand to grab me, but she missed. “AAAAAA, No……..Mom, mom,  help me, help me, someone sit on my chair and wants to kill me!” I screame loudly and dripp to my bed. I huddle in the quilt, distinguishing the sound of the desk clutter. 
“ What’s wrong, Jen?Are you ok?” my mom says. She turns on the light, “ There is no one sit on your chair, just your red dress and shoes.”

2015年1月20日星期二

in class


3: First,she puts a small amount of sand on the bottom of the pan.When the sand starts to get hot,she pours in the rice and fries them till they become a form of a pop rice.Then, she keeps them in a big gray iron box.

4:

 I asked my grandma to make the tasty noddles again that I eager to eat the most when she came this time

2015年1月18日星期日

How to write a excellent paper?

In Ann Handley’s blog, I read two posts :“9 qualities of good writing”, and “13 writing rules”. Both of them shows different techniques,principles or how to producing good writing.

The first post uses numerous examples and well-known person to support that a good writing should be pithy,logical and convince. Ann Handley list ten qualities and explain them pretty well. Also, if we look at the passage carefully, it’s easily to  find that she writes many advantageous questions. For instance: “What am I trying to say? What words will express it? What image or idiom will make it clearer? Is this image fresh enough to have an effect? Could I put it more shortly? Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?” Those are all pretty serviceable.

In my own perspective, I highly agree with her two suggests: “Good writing comes on the rewrite” and “Good writing is grounded in data.”

To start with, as Ann mentioned : “ Good writing comes on the rewrite.” To be honest, I used to be really resisted writing, just become I don’t think I can write a excellent essay. However, when I start to revision my own paper, I feel like I can find many small mistakes by myself. Every time, when I rewrite one paragraph, I can find many “ to be” verb and weak words. Then, I could base on this error and correct them. Therefore, if you don’t have a good first draft is totally fine, because no one can write a perfect essay when they first write. Just think more deeply, and continue rewrite them. I believe everyone can do it, it’s not a big deal. 



What’s more, I also totally agree with that “Good writing is grounded in data.” Take me for example, I have a class called “IB Language&literature”. In this class, our teacher always give us a contentious question, and then he needs everyone to write done your own thought and upload on Google drive. Every time when I write my standpoint, as long as I add one or two datas to support my ideas, I fee like the paper  looks more credible. Also, I use this method on TOEFEL and SAT tests. “ Mr Data” had undeniable charm. 


To sum up, It is a pithy post, I love it and convicted of it. As a international student, I will continue to learn how to write a great essay and use this methods on my writing. 




2015年1月16日星期五

In this essay, I think I could  can get 4 according to the Rubic, because I write many details and my essay is well- organized and well development.

2015年1月15日星期四

Keep going!!!# blog

Tomorrow will be the end of this marking period. Which means my junior year have been gone about 1/2.After these months of studying writing and comp IlI, I feel like I really improved a lot on some part of writing,and things that I need continue work on.

The first goal that I set up in the beginning of this semester was to improve my grammar skills. To be honest, I have been working on this goal for a long time. The grammar still is a big trouble issues for me. But the good thing is that I can see some improvements on my grammar. If sometimes, I feel like some grammar really confused me or something I am not sure. I will ask the writing center teacher for help. They are pretty nice and teach me a lot. So, in the entire day, I will continue to woke on my grammar. 

The second goal is getting a good score on SAT/TOEFL. I prepare to take TOEFL test in next weekend. I don’t know how high I could get. But just have a try. I hope I can do well on this test. 

Beside those, the most obvious progress is that I can easily to write over 500 words. In the past, I feel like it is a very difficult things for me. But now, It seems not that hard. Since I found that writing a good essay, we really need to write more details to support your ideas. As long as you do like this, you can found that this method not only help the essay looks more plump, But also you do not need worried about the words issue. 

What’s more, I believe that I am good at write essay structure now. If you read my writing, you can easily see that I have a hook, have a thesis, have a good introduction, have at least three body paragraphs, have a good conclusion…..etc.I feel really grateful to my writing teacher Mrs Guarino. She really teaches me a lot of stuff, and she is endlessly kind and patient with children. Every time, when we write a essay. She always have one to one discuss with us, to tell us where we should fix, where we have grammar mistakes, where we need add more details… Since I am not good at grammar, I always send e-mail to her and she will quickly response to me, then point out where I should delete or where doesn’t make sense. We had a lot of chances to practice how to revise a piece of paper. Sometimes is partner’s assignment, sometime is our own work. Actually, it is very helpful. We could learn a lot from each other’s paper. 


To conclusion, In the rest of this year, I need still focus on my grammar, analysis  part and maintain my advantages. 


2015年1月10日星期六

Blog# Revision

In my revision of this essay, I think there are several places I need to fix. 
First of all, I should write a more creative hook. To be honest, I don’t think my hook is that bad. But when I look at Nina’s hook, I feel like the hook she wrote looks pretty attractive. As we all know, the good hook could attract reader’s attention and interests. Therefore, I need to thinking another more perfect start. 


In addition, I need to work on the words part. When I discuss my essay with my teacher, she told me that I wrote too many “it” in my body graph. I told her I don’t know how to change this kind of pronoun. She told me I could change sentence structure or find another word to instead. It is really helpful. So, I need to read whole essay again. And then account how many “it” I have. Then thing about how to fix it.  Also, I found some of grammar and spelling mistakes. I will correct those as well. 


Last but not least, I found that emotion is play an very important role in my essay. Since “ La Ba congee ” is my topic. I want readers not only understand what is “La Ba Congee”, but also want to have a try (I mean the food). One day, if they travel to China, I hope everyone could savor the flavor of each mouthful. So, I think the image-building is pretty important. Thus, I should fix it in this part. 

2015年1月8日星期四

Laba Congee

In every family, there are certain traditions and celebrations that are considered to be very special and important to the family. Traditions are important for keeping a family united and in tune with its history, as well as in passing down a family’s culture from one generation to the next. In my family, we have several of these foods that serve as traditions for us. We make and consume them each year, and they serve a purpose far beyond being delicious; they serve as something special about our family that connects us to our culture and our past. One of these foods is Laba Congee, a traditional Chinese porridge that is consumed as part of the Laba Festival
The Laba Festival is held on the eighth day of the twelfth month of the lunar calendar, and so was held on January eighth in 2014, and will be held on the 27th of this month this year. This festival is traditionally both a celebration of the harvest and the Buddha’s enlightenment, but is really neither of those things for my family. While the Laba Festival is supposed to have multiple other components, in my family the celebration is mostly just the making and consumption of Laba Congee. The making and consumption of this sweet porridge is supposed to highlight the Chinese virtue of diligence as it takes some time to make, and so if it is made and eaten in the morning it shows that we have this diligence as a family. This is supposed to bring good luck. 
Laba Congee is a porridge that is made of a variety of nuts, beans, dried fruits, and glutinous rice. This can include millet, rice, both red and black beans, raisins of different kinds of fruits, traditional Chinese foods such as the longan, dates, nuts like peanuts and walnuts, and sugar. In my family, we use both peanuts and walnuts, raisins, glutinous rice, and sugar. My grandmother does not like Chinese dates, so we omit them, and simply add more raisins. We also add more than the traditional small amount of sugar, as my grandfather has a sweet tooth. While it is supposed to be prepared and eaten in the morning, we tend to make it in the morning and eat it around lunchtime. As we are not farmers, I suppose the aspect of the holiday that honors the diligence of rising early to prepare and eat the traditional food has been lost. 
Laba Congee is a delicious porridge that would probably be palatable even to those who have never before tried traditional Chinese foods. It generally uses fairly common foods that are tasty when cooked together. When the Laba Congee is cooking, it emits an aroma that is very earthy, savory, and nutty, because the beans and nuts are boiled first, with the rice for about an hour and a half. It smells almost like oatmeal, if oatmeal also had beans in it. Once the dried fruits and sugar are added, it smells much more like oatmeal, very sweet and nutty. It almost smells like a pecan pie, but with an undertone like black beans and rice. 
After the Laba Congee is done cooking, which takes over two hours with all of the preparations, it is a delicious dark brown with beans, nuts, and fruit floating among the rice. The color is similar to a dark chocolate, although the consistency is very like soup. It is very sweet, due to the sugar and dried fruits. It also is very filling, because the beans and nuts add protein and fiber. My family’s Laba Congee is sweeter than most, because we do add extra sugar, raisins, and other dried fruits. This is just a preference, but it is a part of our tradition and reminds us of those who came before us who preferred to alter the recipe to account for their tastes. It also helps that the porridge is very sweet because we tend to eat it for the first meal of the day, even if we eat it around lunchtime. It would feel “off” if it was too savory, given our tradition.
Many families have different traditions and foods from their cultures and family preferences that they choose to cook every year. The Laba Congee is my family’s favorite traditional food, which we eat each year during our small celebration of the Laba Festival. While we alter it according to the tastes of the elders, namely my grandmother and my grandfather, this sweet and savory dish is something we all look forward to each winter. To me, the nuts, beans, and fruits smell like home, holiday, and family. Even though my grandparents are very elderly now, I know that this tradition will not die with them. When I have my own children, I will teach them this recipe, and they may change it to fit their tastes. I hope it continues on for many years to come.  

2015年1月5日星期一

# blog 9

     My winter break plan

Winter break are coming soon, I can’t wait. I feel like my heart already flies to my hometown. There are many things I plan to do during the break. 

As an international students, going back home is not an essay thing to do. Why I say that? For me, I need spend more than 14 hours plane to arrived Shanghai PuDong airport. And then I need take 3 more hours car to my own city. Which means I need spend 17 hours on my travel.  To be honest, it is really tired. I feel like my body really can’t move. Another thing is that since the time is different, so when I arrived China, I need at least 3 days to change my own times. 

The first thing I’m going to do is go to Wanda Plaza to eat different kind of food. Since in the United State there only few Chinese restaurants near Cheshire academy. To be honest, I don’t really like the food there. It’s not like real Chinese food, is “America Chinese food”. I like my host family, they are really nice. They know that I may get tiered on the food they make and they want me try something new. So, during the weekend, My host mom often make cookies, bubble tea…or take me to some different places. Like Mexican food, Italian food,Korea food….But, I believed that Chinese food still is the most delicious food in the world! I want to eat Beijing Duck, Ningbo glue pudding, dumplings, hunan fried rice, Wuhan noodles……oh my god, I really can’t wait!!!!

Beside food, I think I would go to hairdressing shop to do my haircut and dye my hair. May be varnish my nails. “Venice salon” is my favorite hairdressing shop in Shanghai. I love the barber there, they are good at pick color and cut fringe. After that, there are one things that I should to do. I would go shopping because I became fatter and taller. The clothes can’t fit me well. And I really need to buy three or four heavy jackets or sweaters. Since I can’t image how cold in America when I come back. 

Meanwhile, I think I will start to make appointment with my middle school friends and my relatives. My Chinese friends still need to go to school, because they don’t have break during December. So, we need keeping touch, picking a time and hang out together. Also, I plan to visit my grandparents. They live in countryside. I know they both really care me and they often text my father. Tell him how they much they miss me. I love them so much. But it’s hard to see each otters in some cases, may be just twice per year. because I study far away. I missed my old days, I want to spend time with them. So, every time when I go back China, I really need many times to stay with them. Since I know that they needs me, I need them. 


The planning make me cannot wait for even one second. I wish the time fly quickly. I want to go back home!